Touch me or Touch me not

Oh! This won’t happen to my son! Child Abuse – Closing your eyes is not the solution! Then, what is? Read on!!

Do you believe your son is not at a risk of abuse because he is a male child or because these incidents happen only in the less educated and low income groups whereas your family is affluent and everyone has degrees?   

Fact check – In a survey conducted by the Government, more than 50% of the kids were found to be victims, of which more boys than girls reported physical abuse. 

What’s worse – they did not report the incident to anyone in the family or outside because majority of the perpetrators are a relative or a person whom the child and the family trusts. 

Stop shutting your eyes to child abuse, it’s for real, it can happen to any child, in any family and from any background including yours and mine!

Having said that, there are ways to prevent it, to fight back and deal with it.  
Here’s how you can too - 

Make sure your child knows and understands the body parts. Go down to his level of understanding and try to explain the function of all the body parts in a simple manner.

Teach your child about good touch and bad touch. Give them the touching rules - The part between their legs, hips and their lips are a strict no. No one should touch these parts other than the parents or caretaker. Also no one should hurt them on any part of their body.

Inculcate the feeling of ownership of her body in your child. Tell her that his body belongs to her and no one should touch her in any way she doesn't like.

Practice with your kids and train them to say out loudly – “Do not touch…I am not liking it” or “No touching….take your hands away” whenever they are being touched inappropriately. Ask them to move away from such a person immediately. 

Give 5 trusted names to your child other than mommy and daddy. If you are not around, they should reach out to these people for help. Make sure they not only know your address and phone numbers but are able to rattle it off as if it was their favorite song. Train them not to talk to strangers when you or your spouse is not around.

Ask your child her daily routine when she comes back from school and whenever you have been away. Make it a daily habit and a routine. 

Encourage your child to treat you as their best friend. Train them to tell you everything without feeling scared.

Often, as parents, we feel we know what’s best for our child and dictate what needs to be done. Practice to be a good listener also. Give the freedom to your child to express her emotions. They should feel free and comfortable to share their feelings with you whether they are angry, sad, scared, anxious or plain happy. 

Precaution is always easier than dealing with a crisis but just in case such an incident happens, never blame your child. Never say - you shouldn't have gone there, or you shouldn't have done that. Listen, offer support and be ready to act appropriately.

As parents we often hesitate in adopting the proactive approach. Most of us feel awkward bringing up such topics for discussion in the living room, but getting over this awkwardness is a must to equip and empower your child. Talking to them and training them is the best way to ensure their safety.

On the other hand, make sure that you do not overdo it so much that you build mistrust in the subconscious mind of the child. Tell them the world is a beautiful place to live in and not all are bad! They just have to be careful and learn how to be safe.